They can never be drawn, because I CAN’T draw!

“Lying in the stinkingly warm janitor’s room, Ostap Bender was polishing two possible career options in his mind …………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Or he could go to the «Stardet Committee» tomorrow and invite them to take over the distribution of a picture that has not yet been painted, but is brilliantly conceived.: “The Bolsheviks write a letter to Chamberlain” based on Repin’s popular painting “The Zaporozhians write a letter to the Sultan.”

So, in the style of Ostap’s thoughts, paintings that have not yet been painted, but are “ingeniously” conceived.

“In God we trust!”*

The artist’s top-down view from behind Christ crucified on a huge gold dollar, where thousands of “believers” are kneeling on the floor, from popes and cardinals in the front rows, monarchs, judges in judicial robes, presidents, generals, mafia bosses, prostitutes and to ragged beggars.

* The inscription on every American banknote.

“The Wheel of Life”

A sequential circular series of paintings from a monkey holding a human baby BITING HER BREAST, then a human mother with a human baby biting her breast, then a human mother with a metal robot baby biting her breast, then a metal robot-like mother with a baby monkey biting her breast and again a monkey mother with a barely visible human baby…

Of course, all the images are placed in a kind of large circle or oval. The latter image is only partially visible, as if from the semi–darkness of the shadow of the first.

Inside the oval and outside it, to the borders of the rectangular frame of the painting, there is a swarm of all kinds of organisms from amoebas to lemurs, the ancestors of monkeys. The picture, preferably, should not be with a flat two-dimensional oval, but in a three-dimensional perspective, like a wheel “rolling out of the picture somewhat to the side.” Each picture is graphically connected with the previous one, for example, an outstretched baby’s leg, passing into the next image of the “mother”, as if reminding of the transformation of this baby into the future mother of the next one.

Cover illustration of Lem’s novel “Solaris”

An ocean with large waves, and from each almost vertically standing wave front, the contours of some strange face shine through, peering through a microscope at small people lying FLATTENED on a slide.

“Know yourself!”

On the dissection table lies a LIVING person, opened from neck to groin with a large scalpel in a long greenish-brown tentacle smeared with blood, in another tentacle, also huge, a surgical “scapula” (wound expander) for spreading the intestines, and the third one holds either a mirror or a TV screen in front of a human face distorted by suffering, on which the enlarged “details” of his cut body are visible.

Artists, get your brushes in your hands!

Sculptural groups are also possible. (Like Mikhail Shemyakin’s “Casanova.”)

I do not require royalties, but the “Dedication to the author of the idea of Esprit de L’Escalier” in the painting in the corner must be.

Faciant meliora potentes.

7 X 2025