In the article “The language of “Science” and the Language of Science,” there was an accidentally dropped phrase about Hamlet “from the point of view of the Flute,” and suddenly a whole note grew out of it by itself.

If the Flute tries to compare its complexity with Hamlet, she will start by considering its anatomy and physiology and his!

So:

She is slender and thin, but she does not bend her straightness and retains her graceful subtlety! That is, she has a strong, firm character and not one iota of unbending honesty.

Hamlet is a doughy little fat man, swollen from fat and water, constantly changing his shape. Dripping with water and all sorts of other unpleasant-smelling secretions. He’s always twisting, hypocritical, not being able to maintain a certain permanent shape even for a second!

Her, Flute’s, soul is equipped with seven valve holes for expressing her spiritual experiences, and this gives no less than 7! (seven factorial) possible options for self-expression: 7x6x5x4x3x2x1 = 5040 different ways to express her thoughts and feelings.

And one opening more for breathing in the air! And only for inhalation!

Hamlet has holes: Two at the bottom, front and back. Two on the so-called “face”, mouth and nose. Two more are on both sides of the so–called “head” and all are directed in different directions, while the Flute’s are arranged strictly in a straight line (Again, the STRAIGHTNESS of the Flute against not even duplicity of Hamlet, but a multiplicity characteristic only of crooks and liars!!).

Another one on the so-called “belly”, and one that was completely overgrown many years ago! It’s an old atavism!

The functions of these holes (physiology!):

For the Flute: All seven are like one thing – to express multitonal feelings and a variety of emotions, and that’s all! When they are opened, all the orifice valves emit sounds of different frequencies that are pleasant and perfect in harmony!

Hamlet has two upper ones, on the “face”. They are primitive to the point of disgust: Through them Hamlet inhales and immediately exhales air! It’s like he doesn’t have another hole or two to exhale! For output!

That’s it! STILL NO!

ONE-PASS!

But that’s not all! Through a larger hole, he not only inhales and exhales air, but also introduces some hard, soft and liquid substances into himself!

The flute notes with indignation that it would have clogged up immediately from such an abomination! And to the omnivorous Hamlet – at least that!

She just doesn’t like to mention that through this larger hole, Hamlet, after gorging himself or getting drunk on some kind of trash, sometimes throws back what he has introduced into himself, although he has two holes adapted for THIS purpose at the BOTTOM.

And through a smaller “facial” opening, he also inhales, but less, and at the same time exudes some mucous substances!

A one-pass slug, that’s all!

And the SOUNDS that he makes with these holes at the same time?

Disgusting snuffling, expectorating, burbling, shrieking, hollow-throated and completely obscene-sounding, without the slightest tinge of harmony or melody!

Flute had heard from friends who work in so-called opera houses that some Hamlet-like creatures are still able to produce even well-sounding melodic and harmonious sounds through one large facial opening. Although the Flute, which is only familiar with Hamlet, continuously spewing out sound combinations of an obviously so-called “abusive or abusive swearing” nature, had never heard anything else.

And the two side holes on the so-called head don’t make any sound at all and are “silent as a fish”!

So, what are they for anyway? Probably, too, overgrown atavisms! And that’s right! Flute had heard from an otolaryngologist she knew that they were really curved, like everything in hamlet–like creatures, empty channels that had long been overgrown with some kind of leathery film, like drums!

Elementary arithmetic calculation: The flute has seven valve holes that produce melodious, beautiful and gentle-sounding sounds.

Hamlet has only four that emit sounds or emit something, and all of them are extremely poor, disgusting in sound, appearance and smells, and three additional are generally mute and overgrown!

But, the sane Flute asked herself soberly, is it possible that Hamlet is not so strong in producing sounds “from himself”, but in logic and in his own ability to play, at least on the same flute?

After all, he clearly shows Guildenstern that he himself knows how to play the flute.:
“It’s as easy as lying. Run your fingers through the holes, blow in the air with your mouth, and the most gentle music will flow out of it. See, here are the valves…”

Guildenstern, confused,” — the Flute added, — “did not ask Hamlet, who was so professionally explaining to him, to play something HIMSELF, since “it’s as easy as lying…” And Hamlet knows how to lie and pretend perfectly well!

And,” – Flute remarked ironically, – “why did he use the phrase “Blow in with your MOUTH”? And BY WHAT else can the same Hamlet or Guildenstern or any other of the Hamlet-like ONES BLOW IN “air”? With your ear, nose, or any other hole of your own! He only has four of them!

It turns out, — ” the Flute said with some perplexity, – “that Hamlet doesn’t shine with either the ability to play instruments or the ability to think logically! It’s all blatant lies and hypocrisy again, and it’s also illogical!

“What do you think, I’m worse than a flute?

Declare me any musical instrument you want, you can disarrange me…

BUT YOU CAN’T PLAY ON ME!”

Hamlet to Guildenstern.

Hamlet is right about THAT, – YOU really CAN’T PLAY on such a slug, – in the highly professional opinion of the Flute!

Summarizing all of the above, the Flute must INEVITABLY come to the obvious conclusion:

From all points of view, externally, anatomically, morally and physically, logically, and even more so functionally, she is a perfect being, compared to which the slug Hamlet is a disgusting and primitive NONENTITY!

But, of course, imagining itself, like all creatures like him, as the crown of creation!

“There’s no need to blame the mirror if the face is crooked!”

14 II 2026