(See “The Ninth Wave Hypothesis”)

In the note mentioned in parentheses, I expressed the opinion that the slightest TRACES of OZONE greatly change the fluidity of water, reducing its internal friction and viscosity.

Where did I get this assumption from?

Again, I apologize for the slightly naturalistic details, from my toilet.

It turns out that I have noticed more than once that some strange physical and physics-chemical phenomena can be found in the toilet. That’s why I called THIS section of my writings “Toilet Physics,” which, in terms of its effects, is in no way inferior to the research institutes of all Academies of Sciences.

The discovery of strange phenomena does NOT depend ON THE SEAT, but on the researcher’s head.

So, from generalities to concreteness.

Part one.

My toilet tank has long been damaged by a rubber flapper valve (Toilet Tank Rubber Flapper) that opens and closes the outlet of the drain tank. I smeared it with petroleum jelly, fixed its “ears” in the racks…

It helped for six months or a year, and the leak or complete non-closure started again.

Why didn’t I call the sewer installer from the maintenance department at our homes?

Laziness, because they are very irresponsible. But it was useless to sit at home and wait for the technician to come or not, it didn’t suit me. Therefore, I tried, as in everything else, to solve this problem MYSELF.

A week or two ago, while making order into the “glove compartment”, a cabinet under a washbasin, I discovered a brand-new flapper valve that I had bought a long time ago. I immediately took out the old one, which had turned into rubber rags, and installed a new one. Well, I think, the problems will end now and for a long time!

That was not the case.

Every three minutes, the valve of the tap supplying water to the tank was triggered.

The reason is obvious – the slow leakage of water from the tank. I tinkered, strengthened, and lubricated the flapper with petroleum jelly, but practically nothing helped. The time between very noisy intake valve openings has lengthened (the leak has decreased) to six minutes and then nowhere.

(Every time noisily opened the water inlet tap, Ilf’s sharply sarcastic comparison of Victor Hugo’s work with a damaged drain tank immediately came to mind. Ilf once said that Hugo was silent, silent, then suddenly with a terrible roar he bursts into a new novel.

Evgeny Petrov, “My friend Ilf”, p. 8)

The valve is brand new, without cracks or defects, what is the cause of leakage, weak water seepage?

The answer is: In its partial “superfluidity”.

Part two.

There was an ionizer on a shelf in the toilet and, as I suggested, it also somehow REDUCED the viscosity of the water. (Either by negative ions or by super-little, imperceptible amounts of ozone).

But I removed it BEFORE replacing the valve.

And then another, also long-standing, problem intervened with a leak in the cold water tap of the washbasin. I called the technician several times, he came, fixed the crane body itself with a key and left. I explained to him several times that the problem was NOT in the body of the faucet and sink, but in the seepage of water between the rod to the faucet handle and the faucet body itself, but he, without arguing with a fool who did not understand anything about the HIGH SCIENCE of installation, stubbornly tightened a completely useless nut and considered his mission accomplished.

So, the water flowed onto the surface of the sink, flowed down to me due to its careless installation and poured on me.

I came up with a barrier: A paper napkin folded repeatedly at the leak site and lying so that the water soaked into it then drained into the sink.

It helped!

But!

A new problem: Black mold formed in a napkin that was constantly swollen from water. I tried iodine and iodine crystals, and it all helped for a day or two. Finally, a couple of weeks ago, I took a weak ozonizer for the refrigerator and put it OVER a napkin, hoping that the ozone would kill mold.

It helps so far, but it’s him, his tiny traces, getting into the tank (ozone is heavier than air!) they caused a decrease in its viscosity and leakage in the tank. Suddenly I remembered that when I put the laundry detergent to the tank, I INCREASED the VISCOSITY OF THE WATER there!

I poured it in and…

A COMPLETE success! NO LEAKAGE!!!

But, if the detergent concentration in the water is high enough! The opposite of ozone action!

So, the search for a solution to the most ordinary, small and simple problem of water leakage from a toilet tank revealed two unexpected physics-chemical effects of a significant change in the viscosity of water!

The offer:

Equip ALL THE ACADEMIES of SCIENCES in the world with a multitude of toilet cubicles, where highly learned ladies and men will be able to make amazing discoveries almost every day without any multimillion-dollar laboratories or accelerators worth billions of dollars and euros!

It’s not the rugs, mattresses, and curtains in a bankrupted brothel that need to be changed, but the GIRLS!

Faciant meliora potentes.

2 VI 2025