To Natalie C. dedicated.

“I won’t bargain,” Ostap said politely, –but here are the neighbors… How are they?

Wonderful people,” Vasisuali replied, –and in general, all the amenities. And the price is cheap.

But they’ve introduced corporal punishment here, haven’t they?

Ah,” Lokhankin said earnestly, “after all, who knows? Maybe it’s necessary. Maybe that’s the great big deep truth.

Deep, really cordial? Bender repeated thoughtfully, “isn’t it plain, homespun, and old fashioned?”

Well, well. In general, tell me, from which class of the gymnasium were you expelled for failure? From the sixth?

From the fifth,– Lokhankin replied.”

This excerpt from the brilliant book by Ilf and Petrov “ A LITTLE GOLDEN CALF” led me to different thoughts, in particular, about punishing children for misconduct.

And in this regard, Why are many people so willing to use these “Corporal Punishments” against children?

The answer here is as simple as in the case of the above-mentioned intellectual.

Adult parents CAN do it physically!

Imagine if Ivan Poddubny or world heavyweight boxing champion Mike Tyson were in Lokhankin’s place. After all, it is obvious that they could not have extinguished a seven-light bulb and not only in the bathroom, but also screwed in a hundred candles in all rooms and left them burning for days in a row, and none of the neighbors in the “Voronya Sloboda” would not have made a sound. If they had made a sound, they would have instantly received such a flop from Lokhankin-Tyson-Poddubny that their heads would have turned a hundred and eighty degrees and would have remained in this position until the grave!

For THE SAME REASON, parents, stupid and cruel, allow themselves these bodily! If it were such a strong man in their child’s place, they would not have dared to hit him on the cheeks or with a belt on the buttocks! One of my friends, having been repeatedly beaten by his mother with a belt, came up with a way to “avoid.” He stole a belt from his mom’s room and threw it into a narrow gap between the wall and the refrigerator, large and heavy, which his beloved mother could not move. He did not foresee that Mommy could easily BUY a NEW ONE!!!

I’ve NEVER been beaten at home. Because I was punished many times more painfully for my offenses.

A small digression directly related to the topic.

For a while, I spent many hours every day in the business office of my friends, wealthy merchants. The real owner was the son of the founder of this office, and the founding father himself was only a symbolically equal boss.

And once the founder’s wife came to the office with her daughter and five-year-old granddaughter. They left the girl in the office, and went “shopping” themselves.

Both owners were, of course, unhappy – the office was busy with business and they had neither the time nor the desire to bother with the girl.

I offered them my services. The girl and I went into the next room and started playing. At first, I suggested that she draw pictures of burima. That is, she draws one line with one color, I draw the other, and together we will create a “canvas”. The girl readily agreed and we began to “paint.” Naturally, she often had arguments with me that I was not painting what she intended. And I “balked”, insisting on my version of the drawing. So, laughing and arguing amiably, we painted. Then I suggested that she learn how to perform magic tricks. In the absence of the necessary surroundings, I adapted a number of objects in this room and showed her “hocus-pocus”, which I immediately taught her. Complete delight! During one of the “tricks” she had already mastered, grandpa came into the room and turned to me with undisguised irritation and angry: “Why are you teaching a child such nonsense??? You ruined the wall of the room by smearing it with glue. Now we need to close the office to repaint the walls of the room!!! Where is your adult mind???”

“Grandpa,” the granddaughter shouted enthusiastically, “we didn’t put glue on anything!!! We CHARGED the NAPKIN with ELECTRICITY and that’s why it stuck to the wall! And, in front of the still irritated and perplexed grandfather, she went to the “glued plastic napkin” and tore it off the wall, without any stains on it, accompanied by a strong crackle of electrical discharges.

(Explanation: We rubbed the napkin with a paper napkin, thereby causing its strong electrification. (Incorrect name of the process is electrification by friction) Then, due to electrostatic induction, the napkin “stuck” to the wall, and then, when the girl lifted it off the wall, the voltage between the two plates of the capacitor – the napkin-the wall – increased (the capacitance of the capacitor decreased, but the charge remained the same, therefore the voltage increased) – and because of this, the voltage between them increased to several thousands of volts and there was a spark breakdown of the air gap). The crack was caused by numerous sparks!

Grandpa, not understanding anything, left annoyed and still irritated, and we continued playing.

Her mother and grandmother came.

“So, Natalie, did you spend time with an uncle?”

Without finishing listening to her enthusiastic story, she was informed:

“Look, Natalie, what a GIFT we bought you! Very expensive!” And they took out a beautiful jewelry box, from which they extracted a gold chain with a diamond on it!!! The girl obediently let this precious thing be put on (Isn’t it precious, for a FIVE-year-old child), politely repeated “Thank you” several times to her clucking and praising gift to her mother and grandmother, and her eyes, full of love, were fixed on anuncle. “So,” Mom asked belatedly, –have you become friends with the uncle?”

Natalie ran up to uncle and hugged his knees tightly. Mom and Grandma were amazed. They said that I definitely need to come to their house and play with the girl. An official invitation, so to speak!

But ragamuffins like me are NOT allowed to enter the house of rich people!

This whole story is about one obvious thing:

The girl was in desperate need not of gifts of several thousand dollars, but of simple, friendly and loving attention to her! And parents who were busy making money ALWAYS didn’t have enough time for such little things!

Gifts-surrogates of parents’ love and attention were in abundance, but the most important thing was MISSING! The child feels that he is loved and that his life and joy are the most important things for parents.

After this lengthy interlude, I return to the punishments.

My childhood was very poor and very happy. Because I’ve always felt like the center of attention! I was not an outsider in the family, but almost the head! It spoiled the child, but with proper upbringing it did not turn into a cold, selfish monster.

The worst punishment for me, when I deserved it, was a VACUUM. I suddenly realized that there was NO habitual warm atmosphere of love! I was punished by being deprived of the most valuable thing, though it seemed because of the habit of inconspicuous: Loving attention. It wasn’t starvation, nor cornering, nor beating! It was much scarier to lose the love of others!

That, in my opinion, is the right upbringing!

And now let’s try to understand how children are punished in a completely prosperous family, like the one described above! They are constantly being subjected to this terrible punishment without being guilty of anything.

16 V 2018